


Help Me

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abduction, Age Play, Baby Sam, Child Abuse, Diapers, Infantilism, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Sexual Age Play, Protective John Winchester, non-con infantilism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2724335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam meets an odd couple at the library. They decide they want to keep him. Can Sam escape this couple who wants to be his Mommy and Daddy? All Sam wants is his real Dad and brother back. This is not a fluffy story line. </p><p>Sam is 16 in this story. Dean is 20.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam was disgruntled like any teenager would be. It was a nice day and he was a teenager. He wanted to be a normal teenager, but he wasn’t. Why? Because his dad sent him to the library to look up information on Aergia, a female spirit of laziness. Sam wasn’t sure if this was even for a hunt or if his dad was trying to causally say that he thought Sam was lazy. He didn’t think he was lazy. Rebellious, yes, but lazy not so much.

It took a lot of work to maintain good grades while changing schools every couple months and putting up with his father’s obsession with revenge. Sam cherished the moments when it was just him and Dean because Dean would let him go do normal stuff, like go to dances and give him time to study instead of obsessively cleaning guns or looking up lore on Aergia.

Sam sighed because he really didn’t want to do this. He had algebra homework that was more important than this. Sam was sure of it. He started to feel a headache come on and Sam started to rub his temples when a couple sat across from him. It is a young couple probably in their late twenties or early thirties. Sam didn’t really know, nor did he care. He started to close the book on Aergia to move to one of the other many empty tables at the library which this couple seemed to have missed.

The woman with dark hair smiled at Sam and said with a kindness that sent chills up Sam’s spine, “Hi sweetie, my name is Cindy McClellan and this is my husband Matthew. What are you doing here all by yourself?”

Sam closed the book and stared at her for a moment. She gave him the creeps so he hastily said, “Lady, this is a library. I am studying. Excuse me.” Sam gathered his things and moved a couple tables over away from the creepy couple.

Much to Sam’s dismay, the husband came over to the table Sam just sat down at so he can finish the research for his dad. Sam glared at the guy. He sharply said, “What?”

Matthew smiled and said in that same creepy kindness, “I was just wondering if I could help you study.” The man gave Sam a huge smile with teeth.

Sam once again closed his book. He took out his cell phone and texted Dean before he got up, _“Dean, help.”_

Sam put his phone back in his pocket and closed his book again. He make sure to do it with a little bit drama. He huffed out, “Look man, I don’t want your help. I don’t want to chat. I want to be left alone. Please leave me alone.” Then Sam got up and walked across the library. Sam walked up to the librarian and got her attention. She walked over and smiled at him. This didn’t creep him out. Sam asked politely, “I am trying to work on a research paper for my history class and that couple keeps trying to _help._ Do you know of some place in here that maybe more quiet?”

The librarian was an old lady and she looked at the couple for a brief moment and then she motioned to the other side of the library. “There is a table in the corner over there. No one ever goes over there.”

Sam smiled and nodded. He politely said, “Thank you," and walked away.

Sam sat down at the table in corner. Based on the amount of dust on the table Sam guessed the librarian wasn’t kidding about no one ever coming over here. He started to set his books out on the table when he felt his phone vibrate.

He pulled the phone out to see a text from Dean, _“Sammy, second base man. You’re at the library. What is going on?”_

Sam texted back, _“This weird couple keeps following me and asking me questions.”_

Dean texted, _“Second base, Sam. Stop being a bitch. It is probably nothing.”_

Sam tensed as he saw the woman lingering close to where he was sitting but did not approach. He texted Dean again, _“Dean, please help. I feel like I am in danger.”_

Dean texted back quickly, _“Stop being a bitch.”_

Sam’s hand twitched on the phone for a moment. Out of desperation and not with the intent of getting Dean in trouble. Sam texted his dad. _“Dad, this couple is stalking me and Dean won’t come get me. Please help.”_

Sam pretended to be looking at the book but he was watching the couple out of the corner of his eye. He knew they were watching him. Sam was afraid to move and he wasn’t sure what to do. He took his camera out of his backpack and snapped a picture of the couple when he hoped they weren’t looking. Sam slipped the camera back into his backpack. He got up from the table and went into the bathroom. Sam looked around for a moment to make sure no one was in there and he wasn’t followed.

Then Sam stood up on the toilet of the first stall. He slipped the camera up above the ceiling tiles. He carefully repositioned the tile. Then Sam got out of the stall and slipped into the one next to it. As Sam locked the door he heard someone enter. It was Matthew. Sam’s heart started racing. He texted both Dean and his dad, _“1 camera man”._ Sam knew it wasn’t clear but he knew they would understand the message.

Nervously, Sam flushed the toilet and got out of the stall. Matthew seemed to be intently washing his hands. Matthew smiled at Sam and said, “Aergia, huh? Are you writing a paper or something? I can help you with that.”

Sam shuttered away from the man. He quickly washed his hands and said quickly, “Please just leave me alone.”

Sam rushed out of the bathroom and out of the library. He stopped in front of the library and he texted to both John and Dean, _“Please help.”_ Then Sam felt a tiny prick in his neck. He reached up and felt a needle getting pulled out of his neck. Sam looked and he saw Matthew. He dropped his phone and backpack. As whatever they gave him started to settle in. Then Sam tried to fumble for his knife. He got it open but his movements were sluggish.

He felt his grip loosen on the knife and it fell to the ground. Then he felt himself collapsing. It was like everything was in slow motion for Sam. He wondered if they were going to kill him or torture him. He looked toward the library as his vision blurred. He felt Matthew pulling him into a car and he thought he could hear shouting, but he couldn’t make out what anyone was saying. Then everything went dark for Sam.

++

John was two hours away from the boys. He just finished up interviewing a witness when he looked at his phone to see what Sam and Dean were fighting about now. His blood ran cold when he saw Sam’s text messages. Dean was supposed to be with Sam at the library. John called Sam’s cell phone.

It rang a couple times before an unfamiliar voice answered the call, “This is Agent Adams. To whom am I speaking?”

John was silent for a moment. His mouth was dry. He said flatly, “John Winchester, why do you have my son’s phone?”

There was a pause, “I’m sorry. Mr. Winchester, are you currently driving?”

John looked at his surroundings and he was most definitely driving back towards where his sons were. He lied and said, “No.”

The agent replied, “Mr. Winchester, I am with FBI’s child abduction team. We get dispatched whenever there is a child abduction. I am at the Flagstaff police headquarters. I would like to discuss this matter with you, as soon as possible.”

John wasn’t sure if he was angry or terrified. He demanded, “Where is Sam?”

Carefully, the agent said, “Mr. Winchester, it is our belief Sam has been abducted. Time in these cases are critical. Could you please meet me at police headquarters?”

John was thankful he didn’t run any FBI scams in Flagstaff. He gritted his teeth and said, “Yes, I am two hours out on a job. I will be there quickly.”

The agent replied, “Thank you, Mr. Winchester,” and hung up the phone.

John took a couple deep breaths to calm himself. He called Dean. It took Dean a few rings to answer and Dean sounded breathless when he answered, “Sammy, stop being a bitch.”

John roared into the phone, “Why are you not with your brother? He’s been abducted.”

John waited for reply. He heard what sounded like the shuffle of clothes then a quiet female voice followed by a door closing. Dean stammered out, “What do you mean abducted? He was just at the library.”

John gripped the phone tightly and said sternly, “Dean, I am not in the mood right now. What do you know and don’t you dare lie to me. The real FBI is involved in this and so help me if I have to bury Sam because you couldn’t follow a simple order. I do not know what I will do.”

Dean stammered out, “Sorry Sir. I got a text from him saying that a couple was following him. I thought he was just being paranoid or wanted attention from me. I brushed him off. I am sorry.”

John grumbled, “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Dean. Go to the library and get Sam’s camera that he hid. The pictures better be developed by the time I get to town. I want doubles so I can give a copy to the FBI.”

Dean quietly replied, “Yes Sir,” as he hung up the phone.

John brushed away the tears that were falling from his eyes on the back of his hand. Sam was precious to him, just like Dean. But John knew the demons wanted Sam for something. He just prayed to the angels that Sam was okay and he would be returned to them safely.  He knew there wasn’t much else he could do.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam awoke with a headache in a dark room. His head felt fuzzy. He tried to get up and noticed he was strapped down and he had something in his mouth. Sam surveyed his surroundings a little more. He was in some sort of bed with bars around it and that didn’t make much sense to Sam. He looked down at his body to find his clothes were missing or at least the clothes he was wearing were missing. Now he was wearing what looked like an over-sized blue shirt with a frog on it and to his horror a diaper. Worse than that, Sam saw that his hands were covered in blue hard rubber mittens little frogs on them. The mittens made his hands useless and thereby limiting his chance of escape.

Sam threw his head back and wondered where he was and if his father and Dean were even looking for him. He knew Dean thought he was being a bitch and John didn’t even text him or call him. He bitterly wondered if they even cared or if they just used him for research and grunt work. But that didn’t sound quite right to Sam. His dad always told Dean whenever he left to look after him. Now Sam was left wondering why Dean didn’t. He wondered if he was that bad of a brother to Dean that he would want this to happen. Sam didn’t know. He just hoped he could escape soon.

He closed his eyes and was in the process of willingly himself to get his shit together. Sam was giving himself a pep talk about how he was a hunter and he had been in worse situations than this. He couldn’t really think of any worse situation than this currently, but he knew he would think of something, eventually. He hoped. Strapped to a bed wearing a diaper could not be the way Sam Winchester dies, he thought. But a little voice in the back of his head told him that was exactly what was going to happen and no one was even going to care.

Sam heard a female voice. He recognized it as the creepy lady from the library. She came into view and cooed down at Sam, “How is my little soldier doing?”

Sam thought for a moment as he glared at her. He could try to talk around whatever they put in his mouth, but he wouldn’t. He was a hunter and he wasn’t going to lower himself to that level. Sam stayed silent and did not break eye contact with her. He was certain that if he had any special powers, he would have turned her to dust by now. But he was just human so he had no special powers and no magic button to push to get out of this. He knew he was screwed.

The lady frowned at Sam and reached a hand down over the bars surrounding the bed and started running her fingers lightly through Sam’s hair. Sam flinched at the touch and he went ridged. He tried to hide his fear, but she must have seen it in his eyes or by his reaction. She cooed at him again, “Oh now, Mommy is just giving her little boy some love. Don’t you want to be a good boy for Mommy?”

Sam pulled his head as far away from her hand as possible, but that didn’t help him escape her petting. He wished they would take the gag off so he could at least bite the nut job. Sam felt his breathing start to increase. He didn’t mean to panic. He meant to be the strong and tough hunter his dad wanted him to be, even though he knew he wasn’t that person.

Sam’s breaths started to come in shallower and then Sam saw the creepy man come into his field of vision. The man took the gag out of Sam’s mouth. Sam gasped for air for a few moments while the couple remained silent. Thankfully, they stopped touching him and Sam was willing to thank the small miracles right now. Once Sam’s breathing steadied. He decided he wasn’t above just asking to be let go.

Despite the false macho attitude his dad and Dean tried to teach him. Sam begged, “Please let me go. My dad and brother are going to be worried.”

The creepy man cooed, “Oh baby, Daddy is right here. You don’t have a brother. You’re just confused. Those people you were with aren’t your family. They took you from us but you’re home now.”

Sam glared at the man and said firmly, “You are not my dad. My dad wouldn’t..”

Sam was cut off from speaking when Cindy shoved the gag back in Sam’s mouth. He recognized what it was now. The gag was a pacifier, a sturdy one and that made absolutely no sense to Sam. He couldn’t figure out why someone would make something like that in the first place but he had more pressing issues. Like, why was he here and were these people really that delusional that they though he was their son.

Sam heard the man speak firmly, “Samuel, that is enough speaking from you. Babies are not meant to use grown up words. Once you prove yourself to be a good boy and not use grown up words, we will take the pacifier out but until then it stays.”

Sam felt fear lace through his body. He couldn’t eat with a pacifier in his mouth. Not that he would want to eat anything these people gave him anyways. Sam thought they could be vampires feeding him their blood. Then the next thing they would make him do was to drink human blood out of a baby bottle. No, that was not going to happen. He was not getting turned into a vampire or any other monster. He had to get through this preferably without dying of thirst or hunger.

He heard the lady speak again. Her voice was gentle, “Oh now, we will have to take the pacifier out to feed our little man. Mommy knows you love breast milk.”

Sam stared up at the lady in absolute horror. He wasn’t even hiding it. Sam wasn’t sure if his mom, his real mom not this nut job, ever breast fed him. He didn’t know because she had died when he was so young. Sam missed her and in his mind, she was the only person he would have ever wanted to do that with. But that time frame of wanting that had long since passed. Sam guessed that time period probably ended when Dean potty trained him. He didn’t know the exact age when someone stops breastfeeding but he did know 16 was too old.

Cindy started rubbing circles on Sam’s belly. He watched her hand closely and wondered when they were going to start molesting him or if they already had. She didn’t make a move to go lower. She just smiled at him and cooed, “Oh now Samuel, you like breast milk. But Mommy understands those bad men had you for a while. We will start off with a bottle then when we are sure you won’t bite you can get it from the tap.”

Sam closed his eyes tightly hoping that he would wake up and Dean would be harassing him or his dad would be shouting some stupid order at him. Much to Sam’s dismay that didn’t happen and this was very real. He did wonder though if this couple lost their son and instead of becoming revenge crazy like his father if they just started kidnapping teenagers to fill that void. So they could pretend they had their kid back. Sam didn’t know. He just hoped John wanted his kid back.

++

Dean was scared and it took a lot to scare him. He was scared for Sam and of his father’s wrath. He knew this was his fault. He knew John thought Sam was being followed and that was why John wanted Dean with Sam. Dean hated that his father was right because that meant Sam was missing. He wished they would have told Sam but John didn’t want to worry or irritate Sam.

Dean was waiting at the one-hour photo place for the picture Sam took to be developed. There was only one picture on the camera so Dean was a little nervous. What if Sam didn’t get a clear picture? What if he had his finger over the lenses?  Dean thought about how he was pleased that Sam’s camera was easy enough to find in the library. When Dean got to the library, the place was still crawling with police officers and crime scene tape. Dean didn’t like looking at the crime scene tape because he knew that was where Sam got grabbed.

Finally, the picture was ready and the photo clerk handed it to Dean. He looked at it. By some miracle the photo was clear. There were a light brown haired man and a dark-haired woman standing by a bookshelf. They weren’t looking at the camera but their faces were both clear. He wondered what type of monster these people were. He wondered how they were torturing Sam. Dean didn’t know.

He rushed down to the police station where he knew his father was. John had sped all the way back to Flagstaff. Dean didn’t see his father when he first stepped in the door. He went up to the counter and said nervously, “Hi, my name is Dean Winchester and my little brother got kidnapped this morning. He left a camera hidden at the library with a photo of the people who were harassing him. I got the picture developed and I need to know who to give it too.”

 The female officer was young with black hair. She gave Dean a sympathetic look. “I can take the photo back to the FBI and get it posted. Why don’t you give me the picture and take a seat?”

Dean shook when he handed the photo over. His bravo was fading. He started to walk over to a seat in the waiting area when he heard the officer speak again. “Dean, honey, my name is Jody. If you need anything let me know.”

Dean nodded but didn’t say anything. The only thing he wanted right now was Sam and she didn’t have Sam stuffed in her pocket somewhere. No one knew where Sam was except the monsters that took him. Dean wondered if the angels were watching over Sam like his mother used to always tell him when she tucked him in. He hoped the angels were watching over Sam because he needed the help right now. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam wanted the lady to stop touching him. She had a huge smile on her face as she rubbed his stomach. He remained still because he didn’t see much point in squirming. He figured they would probably like it if he squirmed or moved. Sam was ignoring what they were saying. They didn’t want his input on the situation anyways, so he might as well think about something else like his real father and brother.

Sam was thinking about the last time they went out and had target practice as a family. He remembered not wanting to be there and having an attitude about it. His attitude annoyed John and caused them to be out there longer. At the time, Sam was pissed but now he enjoyed having that little bit of extra time with his father. He missed the look of pride his father would get whenever he or Dean would hit a perfect target. Sam hoped he would get to see it again.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by the creepy lady unstrapping the pacifier from his face. Sam remained silent after the pacifier was removed and now he was watching them closely. The woman had a bottle in her hand and she was shaking it lightly. Sam realized that was probably breast milk and they probably wanted him to drink it. Sam didn’t really have a plan on how to deal with this. He knew talking could give them enough time to shove the bottle in his mouth so he tightly sealed his mouth and prayed.

Sam felt the lady put the bottle up to his lips and he turned his head away hoping she would take the hint. He heard the lady huff and say calmly, “Samuel, you have to eat. Come on, open up.”

He glared at the lady and shook his head no. He was hoping that by some miracle John and Dean would burst through the door to rescue him right now. Much to Sam’s disappointment that did not happen. Instead, Sam felt a hand on each side of his face. It was the man and he was prying Sam’s jaw open. Once Sam’s jaw was forced slightly open, the bottle was put in his mouth.

The liquid tasted sweet and creamy but it made Sam want to throw up. He closed down his throat so he wouldn’t swallow it. The last thing he needed was for his dad to rescue him only to chop off his head because they turned him into a monster. Slowly, Sam felt himself start to choke on the breast milk. He felt his throat try to expel it from his mouth and his eyes became wide was he struggled for air as he choked. The man did not let go of his face and he couldn’t turn his head to the side. The woman didn’t remove the bottle.

Sam started struggling in the restraints in a vain attempt to get free. He heard the wood crack where one of his ankles was tied down and that was enough to get the man to release his head. The woman moved the bottle away to look and Sam turned his head to the side. He spit out everything that was in his mouth. His stomach was turning and he threw up what little was in his stomach. It was mostly bile and burned coming up. Sam’s eyes watered from the choking and vomiting. His chest heaved for a few moments before his breathing evened out.

He looked up at the couple. The man had a hand firmly on his ankle and the woman looked pissed. Sam knew this wasn’t going to be good. He wondered if they were going to kill him now or let him go. The woman sharply said, “Samuel, why did you do that? Why are you being a bad boy for Mommy and Daddy?”

Sam glanced up at the woman as he turned his head away from the puke. He could feel it getting in his hair. He took a couple deep breaths and said, “Screw you lady, I am not your damn kid. Let me go.” Sam felt a sting across his face and he knew the woman had just slapped him. It was hard slap, but Sam figured it wasn’t as bad as getting backhanded. He glared up at the woman and said, “So this is what you people do? You kidnap other people’s kids because you beat your own children to death?”

The woman sighed and strapped the pacifier back into Sam’s mouth. He rolled his eyes and looked at the lady. Her voice had an edge to it but it was clear she was trying to stay calm, “Now Samuel, we already talked about not using grown up words. You know you’re not supposed to use them. Mommy is very disappointed in you.” She paused and Sam was hoping she was going to shut up but she continued speaking, “Mommy will try feeding you again later. You need to learn to accept Mommy’s breast milk. It is the only source of nutrition you are getting.” She cooed and rubbed his belly, “No more solid foods for you. Only the best for my baby.”

Sam closed his eyes and turned away from her. He wasn’t a breast milk expert by any means but he knew that babies that were a few months old ate solid food in addition to their formula or whatever. Sam knew that if she was really only going to give him breast milk; he was going to starve to death. He knew this meant he had roughly 21 days to get out or he died. Five days if he refused to drink anything at all and he would die of thirst.

Sam knew that if he drank it. He would be giving John and Dean more time to find him, but if these people weren’t human. That could also turn him into whatever type of monster they are. In the end, Sam knew he didn’t have much choice. He had five days, probably less by this point, to live. Sam decided in that moment that he hated being a hunter.

He felt the woman start to lightly touch his belly again. He wanted her to stop. Sam spoke around the gag and tried to say, “Stop.” But he knew the word came out muffled.

Sam felt the man let go of his leg and his voice was stern. “Samuel, I am very disappointed in you. You broke one the bars on your crib and you refused to eat. If you do this again, I will have no choice but to punish you.”

Sam glared at him for a moment and then he noticed that his left leg was free from the restraint. He lifted up his leg and kicked the man in his stomach as hard as he could. Sam watched the man stumble backwards as he started to pull on his other restraints. He hoped he could get free in time.

++

John was in an integration room. He was nervous and worried about Sam. He had given the local police and the FBI the most recent pictures he had of Sam, but that still didn’t bring his son back. He had no idea who had his son, but since they drugged him John suspected they were human. John knew Sam didn’t know they were human. He didn’t know how Sam would react. He just hoped Sam didn’t kill them; he would rather do that himself.

Finally, Agent Adams returned with a photo and a file. He had a grim look on his face. He sat down and pushed the picture across the table to John. It was a picture of a couple at a library. Carefully Agent Adams said, “Your son, Dean, told us Sam took this picture shortly before he was abducted. Sam apparently hid the camera and told Dean where to find it. Do you recognize either of the people in this photo?”

John nodded as he stared at the photo. His voice was a little shaky, “Yes, I saw them around the motel we live at and I saw them outside Sam’s school the one day I picked him up. I thought they might be following Sam, but I had to work so I just asked Dean to keep an eye on Sam.”

Agent Adams nodded and took a deep breath, “One of my associates Special Agent Hendrickson is on his way here. The couple in this photo are persons of interest in the abduction and subsequent murders of two other boys. The victims in those cases were physically similar to your son.”

John was pretty sure he was shaking and his mind just went numb. This could not be happening. He felt his face getting wet. He knew he was crying. He asked through his tears, “How did they die?”

Agent Adams pulled the photo away from John and tucked it in the folder. He braced himself carefully, “Mr. Winchester, we should worry about getting your son home safe right now. Based on past cases with this couple, we have about two weeks to find Sam alive.”

John nodded. He wasn’t really sure he agreed. He wanted to know what fate his son was facing. He wanted to be strong for Sam. He just wanted to know what Sam was going through. John didn’t say any of that though. Instead he said, “What do I have to do?”

Agent Adams spoke with sympathy, “Special Agent Hendrickson wants to do an appeal to the public for information on this couple, Matthew and Cindy McClellan’s, and for the safe return of your son, Sam. We can write you up a script to read. The important thing is not to make the McClellan’s feel threatened. If they feel cornered they could kill Sam and disappear again.”

Quietly John said, “Ok.”

Agent Adams nodded, “Alright, tell me about Sam. What is he like? Does he have any health problems?”

John felt himself disconnecting from the present as he spoke, “Sam is stubborn and bullheaded. He’s kind of like me I suppose. He is passionate about what he believes in. He loves school. He has a perfect GPA. I know he wants to go to college someday. Last I heard, I wanted to be a lawyer. Sam gets migraines that cause a nose bleed sometimes, I should probably get that checked out when he gets home. But other than that, I don’t know.”

Adams smiled, “Thank you, Mr. Winchester. I will have our liaison for public relations write something up for you to read. We will want to do this soon, so it can air on the evening news.”

John looked down at his hands and said quietly, “Is it okay if Dean comes back here? He’s all I have left and I don’t want him to think this is his fault.”

Adams stood and picked up the folder. He gently said, “Of course, I will send someone to go get him.”


	4. Chapter 4

Much to Sam’s disappointment, he couldn’t get any of his other limbs free and he felt the woman holding his shoulders down. Sam watched partly in fear as the man recovered from the blow. Matthew looked upset and shocked. That made Sam feel a little smug. He may have failed to escape but at least they knew he wasn’t going down without a fight. He hoped.

Matthew walked back over to the bed and forcefully grabbed Sam’s leg. Sam could feel his fingers digging into his flesh and he was fairly certain that was going to leave a mark. He watched as the man strapped his leg down to another bar on the bed. Sam looked away once his ankle was secured and he stopped struggling. He realized he was wasting energy.

Sam felt the woman let go of his shoulders and it was quiet for a moment. He looked around the room and saw the woman coming towards him with a syringe. Sam started struggling again. He could not get shot up with whatever was in that needle because it could be anything. Sam couldn’t get away. He felt the woman’s hand on his arm and he moved his head to stare at it. Sam was trying to will the hand away when he heard her speak softly, “Samuel, I am going to give you a little shot to calm you down. Mommy and Daddy don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He watched as the woman slowly pushed the needle into the vein on his arm. Then she pushed down on the end of the syringe and Sam felt a slow burn creep up his arm as the drugs entered his system. He felt a metallic taste in the back of his throat and the world became a little fuzzy around the edges. Sam found he couldn’t really move his limbs anymore and he had trouble concentrating.

Sam let his head fall back and he felt them undoing the restraints. He tried to struggle and escape but he just couldn’t control his limbs. It was like they weren’t listening to his brain. Sam felt the man lift him up and cradle him in his arms. Sam didn’t like the feeling but he couldn’t escape it. He felt his head fall back as he was carried out of the bedroom and into a bathroom.

The man sat Sam on the floor and leaned him against the wall. Sam watched the man intently or as intently as he could. He kept losing focus and glazing over for a few seconds. Sam heard water running. He guessed it was the bathtub, but he didn’t know. He just hoped they weren’t going to drown him because that would be a terrible way to die. Sam thought it would be better than starving to death, but he wasn’t ready to die yet.

Sam felt hands on him and tried to focus his attention on what was happening. The woman was pushing down on his bladder. He didn’t understand why she was doing this but it was making him have to pee. She pushed harder and Sam tried to lift a hand to get her to stop, but he couldn’t. He tried to move away but only accomplished sliding slightly down the wall. Eventually, the pressure became too much and Sam felt himself pee.

Somewhere in Sam’s mind he realized that he just peed in a diaper and that should freak him out. But he couldn’t bring himself to care right now. He decided he would worry about that later. Right now, Sam just watched the lady as she laid him down on the cold floor. He felt her take off his shirt and he could see her lips moving but he couldn’t make out what she saying. His heart was beating too loudly. Next, Sam felt her hands around his waist and he tried to jerk away. But it didn’t stop her. She swiftly removed his diaper and he was now laying naked and drugged on the floor.

Sam panicked. He felt his breathing increase as much as it could and his vision was still blurry around the edges but as his breathing increased his vision became a little clearer. Sam knew they were going to molest him now. He didn’t even want to think about how Dean would tease him for this or how much his father would hate him. Sam knew his father would blame him and say he should have defended himself better. Sam knew Dean would probably want to know the intimate details so he could rib Sam about it later. Sam felt a few tears prickle his eyes, because he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to get molested and be the laughing stock of his family.

Sam felt himself get lifted up and lowered into the bath water. It was lukewarm and it felt nicer than the cold floor. He felt the man hold on to his shoulders to keep him in place. Sam was still struggling a little bit, although Sam knew it probably looked like petty squirming like a baby would do.

He watched the woman put a frog shaped washcloth over her hand and put some soap on it. He watched her dip her hand in the water and squeeze her hand a few times before the washcloth had soap suds. Then Sam felt her touch his foot. Her movements were gentle as she rubbed his foot. Sam didn’t remember anyone ever giving him a bath. He had taken showers for as long as he could remember and he always remembered doing it on his own.

Sam felt her hand travel slowly up his leg as she washed. Then when she got to his upper thigh she moved her hand back down and started washing his other foot. She applied the same gentle treatment. Sam didn’t know if it was the drugs or what but he started to relax. He could hear her now. She was humming something. Sam didn’t recognize what. His dad and Dean always hummed classic rock ballots to him when he was sick. He suspected she was humming a nursery rhyme but he couldn’t be sure.

Then Sam felt her wash his arms and chest. He wished she would take the covers off his hands so he could have a better chance of escape once the drugs wore off but she didn’t. Then Sam felt her touch in between his legs. He focused on speaking and a slurred, “No,” came out. His protest didn’t deter her and Sam felt her touch his dick. He felt her wash it carefully and it was one of the worst things Sam had ever felt.

He was barely starting to wrap his mind around the utter violation he felt when she touched his balls. It felt almost like she was rolling them as she washed them, but somehow Sam suspected that was not the case. She was just being precise and he had hair down there that probably took some extra time to clean the piss out of. He felt her reach a hand and touch his ass. She rubbed his cheeks then in between his crack.  This was a very unwelcome touch for Sam and he felt like he was getting molested but he didn’t know if this was really molestation or just a bath.

Sam felt her move her hand away from his private parts for which he was extremely grateful. Then he felt her move the washcloth up to his hair on his head. He felt her start to rub his scalp while squeezing water in his hair. The other hand was carefully making sure no water got into his eyes which Sam found ironic since silent tears were falling from his eyes by this point. It took a while but eventually, his hair was wet and he felt shampoo being worked into his hair. Then he felt the man lean him up a little in the water and tilt his head back. Sam felt the lady pour water into his hair to wash the soap out. It took what seemed like an eternity for her to stop pouring water on his head.

When she did he was eased back down. The washcloth was brought up to Sam’s face and Sam closed his eyes. He felt her wipe down his face. He heard her speak softly, “Oh Samuel, this isn’t that bad. You don’t need to cry. Mommy and Daddy don’t like it when you cry.” Sam thought to himself how his real father didn’t like it when he cried either, but his father never drugged him and did these things to him.

Sam felt the man pull him out of the tub and he felt himself getting laid down on the floor again. This time he was on a towel. Sam couldn’t see it but it felt soft. It was nicer than the motel towels he had grown used too. He felt the woman start to dry him off with another towel. It was blue with frogs on it. Sam absently wondered what the significance of all the frogs was. But he wasn’t supposed to talk and his vocal ability was limited at the moment anyways.

Sam struggled as much as he could when she dried off around his penis, balls, and ass. He thought she was spending way too much time patting that dry. Once the creepy lady determined Sam dry, Sam felt and smelled baby powder being put on around his crotch. Then he felt another diaper being secured around his waist. Sam couldn’t stop the groan of discontent that escaped his lips.

He felt another t-shirt get pulled on over his head. Sam didn’t even bother to look at. He was humiliated and the stupid shirt probably had a frog on it. Sam felt the man pick him up again and carry him back into the bedroom. Sam could hear the woman changing the bedding then he felt himself get laid back into bed.

Sam felt the man secure his wrists and his ankles back down. He looked up only to see Matthew coming towards Sam with the pacifier gag. The man easily secured it with a strap around Sam’s head. He petted Sam’s wet hair and said softly, “There we go, Samuel. Go to sleep now. Mommy and Daddy will check on you later and we can discuss your behavior then.”

 ++

Dean was corralled back into the interrogation room with his father. The first thing Dean noted was John looked stressed and was clearly grief stricken. It felt odd to Dean when his father pulled him into a tight hug. Dean wasn’t used to this kind of affection from his father. He was used to hugging Sam, but not his father. He tentatively returned the hug and then he felt his father pull back.

He was shocked to see his father crying. John brokenly said to Dean, “I need you to call Bobby and Pastor Jim. I need to know everything there is to know about Matthew and Cindy McClellan. Send them the picture Sam took and tell them the FBI thinks Sam has two weeks to live. Ask them to get every hunter they can to work on finding those bastards and Sam.”

Dean nodded and forced back his own emotions. He answered his father with a shaky, “Yes, Sir.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean rushed back to the motel they were staying at. He sat down at the desk and fed his copy of the picture into the scanner. It took way too long in Dean’s opinion to scan the photo. Then it took forever for the internet to connect in the motel. Dean determined they must have mice running their connection service. Finally, it connected and he sent a short email with the photo to Bobby and Pastor Jim.

Then he sat back in his chair and stared at the photo. Dean wanted to memorize their faces. If someone else didn’t kill them first. He was going to do the deed. In Dean’s book, no one dicks with Sam but him. Sam was his to harass and torment but Sam was also his to protect and love. Dean knew he failed Sam. He knew he should have listened when Sam texted him asking for help. But now Dean realized he was being selfish. He was more interested in getting laid than making sure monsters didn’t kidnap his baby brother.

Dean didn’t want to think about what they were doing to Sam right now. He was picturing all sorts of things in his head. He was picturing them raping his brother, torturing him, or both. He pictured Sam crying out for him and their father, but they weren’t there to protect him. Dean knew he had let Sam down and he could never make that up to his little brother. He knew that if Sam died; he was going to put a bullet in his head to join him. Dean knew he couldn’t live without Sammy.

Dean was pulled from his internal thoughts when his phone rang. He answered it with a weak, “Hello.”

He heard Pastor Jim on the other end of the line, “Dean? Are you okay?”

Dean gave a defeated chuckle and said dryly, “No, my brother’s been kidnapped because I was too busy trying to get laid to help him.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. In the reassuring voice that only Pastor Jim could pull off, he said, “Dean, this isn’t your fault. I am sure everyone is doing everything they can to get Sam back. I forwarded your information to all of my contacts. I am on my way to Flagstaff. I should be there in the morning. How is your father doing?”

Dean sighed and stared at the ceiling, “He was crying last I saw him. He is stuck at the police station with the feds.”

Pastor Jim spoke carefully, “Dean, I need you and John to stay out of the hunt for Sam.”

Dean felt anger flash through him and he firmly said, “No.”

Pastor Jim remained calm and collected, “Dean, we don’t want the feds following you instead of trying to find the McClellan’s. I will be there and other hunters are on their way. We will find Sam, Dean. Just give us time.”

Dean rubbed his face with his free hand while he tried not to cry. He didn’t want to do that. He brokenly said, “Sammy doesn’t have time. Those bastards are going to kill him. I don’t even want to think about what sick and depraved things they are doing to him right now.”

Quietly Pastor Jim said, “I know, Dean. That is why you need to stay out of it.”

Dean sighed and asked, “What if Sammy dies because I was busy sitting around at a police station drinking coffee?”

Firmly Pastor Jim said, “Dean, I need you to stay strong. We are going to get your brother back alive.”

Dean wiped away the tear that fell from his eye and he said shallowly, “Please let that be true.”

++

Sam could hear movement outside the room he was in and he could hear the TV. Some game show was on but Sam wasn’t really paying attention to that. He knew the man had told him to sleep and even though that sounded appealing, Sam was trying to get a feel of the layout of the house by the sounds they were making. He wasn’t sure how good of a mental picture he was drawing with his mind slightly compromised by the drugs but he was trying.

He heard someone coming toward the door to the room he was being held in so Sam closed his eyes. He figured it was better if they thought he was asleep because if he was asleep then maybe they wouldn’t try to hurt him. Sam heard the door creek open a little further and he heard the woman’s voice. She sounded almost mesmerized, “My sweet boy, I love you so much.”

Sam had no idea what sort things of this his mother had said to him as a baby before she died, but he hoped she never spoke those words to him. He knew she never called him Samuel. She called him Sammy which was why Dean insisted on calling him Sammy. It drove Sam nuts to be called Sammy because it sounded immature to Sam and he wanted to be grown up.

Sam heard the man shout, “Cindy get in here, now.”

Sam listened as the volume on the TV was turned up. He could hear a female news reporter speaking, _“The FBI Child Abduction Team is in Flagstaff today investigating the kidnapping of Sam Winchester outside a local library. Witnesses state Sam Winchester was attacked by a couple who were harassing him. Police are keeping the details of that attack sealed. A warrant has been issued for the arrests of Cindy and Matthew McClellan in connection with the disappearance of Sam Winchester and the murders of two other minor children.”_

Sam heard shouting from the woman and he couldn’t hear the rest of what the reporter had to say, “Winchester? Why are they saying our Samuel’s last name is Winchester and why are they calling him Sam instead of Samuel?” Sam had suspected from when he had first gotten kidnapped that these people were insane, but now he had it confirmed. He hoped that if he ever went that far off the reservation that someone would just put a bullet in his head.

He listened to everything go quiet in the house. Then he heard the ruffling of papers which sounded it was like it was coming from the TV. Then Sam heard his father’s voice. Sam opened his eyes and his heart beat with hope but then Sam realized John wasn’t here as his father’s broken voice surrounded him. _“My name is John Winchester and today my youngest son Sam Winchester was kidnapped. Sam is a very special young man. He is bright and he gets straight As in school. He thinks I don’t know, but I know he hopes to go to college one day to be a lawyer. Sam wants to help people.”_

Sam heard his father pause and it sounded like his father was sobbing, _“I am asking Matthew and Cindy McClellan to please give me my son back. Sam has a neurological condition that he takes medication for and .. and he won’t be able to take his medicine if he isn’t home. Please let Sam come home.”_ Sam thought for a moment as he tried to figure out what his neurological condition was. Then he realized his dad was probably talking about his migraines. He did have a prescription for that but he never took the medicine. It made him too sleepy the following day. Sam found that he would rather just suffer through the pain. He hadn’t talked to his dad about the migraines lately because he was trying to hide the nose bleeds that went along with them. Sam didn’t want John to drag him back to the doctor.

Sam heard his father speak again, “ _Sammy, if you’re listening. Please know your brother and I love you very much. We are proud of everything you’ve done in your life and please stay strong for us. We love you and we’ll get you home soon. I promise.”_ Sam felt himself crying with his father’s words. He was sobbing because his father cared and they were looking for him. Right now, more than anything in the world Sam just wanted John to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

He heard the door to the room he was being held in slam open. Sam tightly closed his eyes and tried to stop the flow of tears from his eyes. The man roared at Sam as he paced back and forth across the room. “How dare he, how dare he call you his son! You are not Sam Winchester. You are Samuel McClellan. Why don’t you or anyone believe that Samuel?”

Sam didn’t respond or open his eyes. He didn’t see the point for a variety of reasons. One reason being they had told him not to talk and he had a gag in his mouth anyways. The other primary reason was he was strapped down to a bed and he was at their mercy. So it didn’t really matter if he looked at them or not. It wasn’t going to change anything.

Sam felt one of the restraints on his ankle being undone. He stilled and wondered if maybe they were going to let him go. Much to Sam’s disappointment that was not the case, he felt his leg get jerked to the other side of the bed and it was secured with the other ankle. Sam had to turn partly on his side for this and he knew his ass was facing them.

Sam felt fear as Matthew pulled his diaper down and braced a hand on Sam’s hip. Then Sam felt the man start spanking him hard with a hair brush. It caught Sam by surprise. He was honestly expecting an anal probe or some other form of molestation, not a spanking. His nerves were raw by this point and it didn’t hurt as much as it as a shock. Sam couldn’t help the tears that fell down his face.

It was Matthew’s words when he was spanking Sam that hurt more than anything. With each hit Matthew would said, “You are Samuel McClellan.” “You are an infant.” “John Winchester hates you.” Sam knew the words weren’t true and he wanted him to stop. At least they didn’t know Dean’s name. At least they couldn’t say Dean didn’t love him.

Sam didn’t know how long Matthew spanked him for. Everything became a blur after a while. All he knew is Matthew didn’t stop until Cindy grabbed his hand and said frantically, “Matthew, our baby’s rear is purple. I think he got the point.” Sam wondered if his ass was really purple but part of him did not want to know. He felt Cindy pull up his diaper and it hurt. The texture of the diaper scraped on his raw skin and somehow, he didn’t think she was exaggerating.

They didn’t rearrange his limbs, which Sam was grateful for. He didn’t want to put any weight on his rear right now, even if that meant it was still a perfect target for crazy one and crazy two. Sam felt a thin blanket get pulled over his lower body then he felt lips kiss his temple. Cindy whispered to Sam as she wiped away his tears, “It’s okay, little man. Mommy and Daddy still love you. Just go to sleep, everything will be better in the morning.”

Sam tightly closed his eyes and started repeating to himself, _“My name is Sam Winchester. My father’s name is John Winchester and I have a big brother, Dean Winchester. They love me. They love me and I love them. They will rescue me. Dad promised.”_


	6. Chapter 6

Sam didn’t think he slept at all that night. One of the crazies came into where he was being held every couple hours and gave him another shot. Sam knew they were keeping him drugged now, so he couldn’t resist or escape. He spent the night thinking about if life, his family, and the friends he never really got to have. He realized that his life wasn’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

Sure, he never really had a home for more than a few months and his father didn’t exactly do honest work. He knew his dad and Dean scammed people, but he didn’t think that made them bad. He knew it wasn’t right to scam people to salt and burn the occasional ghost. It’s not that Sam didn’t think the ghost didn’t need to be put to rest. It was just, Sam thought there had to be a better way of doing it. That’s why he wanted to get out, even before this, he wanted to get out. He wanted to be a lawyer and help people that way.

But Sam was becoming painfully aware, going to college, graduating high school, or even seeing his family again was not every likely. It was when the sun started to shine into the room that Sam felt hope start to leave his body. He didn’t resign himself to being Cindy and Matthew McClellan’s baby. He resigned himself to his death. He had heard it on the news, two other teenagers like him were dead. Sam wondered if there were more bodies the police just haven’t found yet.

He knew a missing teenager like him, would not have gained much suspicion if there hadn’t been witnesses to his abduction. They would have thought he was just another runaway from a vagabond family. Sam knew he was a throw away kid, one that no one really cared about except probably Dean and his dad. He hoped that they really were proud of him and that they loved him. Sam also knew the media coverage would not get him home.

Sam knew that survival was probably not in the cards for him. Currently, Sam knew he had to pee and he did not want to pee in a diaper even though he knew that would happen eventually. He very seriously doubted they would drag his drugged ass to the toilet to relieve himself. Sam was also thirsty, very thirsty and he knew that thirst was only going to get worse. He didn’t know if he would be able to resist the breast milk like before when he wasn’t as drugged. He hoped he could but Sam wondered if for the last days of his life, he was going to unwillingly play the role of a helpless infant.

He didn’t know at what point he started murmuring _“Help me”_ over and over again behind his gag. Sam didn’t know what exactly he was asking for when he said it. Part of him wanted his dad to come in and rescue him. He wanted his dad to help him get up and go to the bathroom and steady the water bottle for him so he could drink water. Nothing but water.

The other part of him, just wanted to die and end this. Sam didn’t think he was ready to die, but he knew he was still in the early stages of either dying of thirst or starvation. He knew the drugs and the beatings, even if it was just a severe spanking, were going to make his time less. Sam was almost looking forward to anything that would make this last a shorter period of time.

Sam heard the couple enter the room. Through blurry eyes, he looked at them. They were in pajamas and they looked sad. He hoped that meant they would just kill him and get it over with. But that was not what happened, the man grabbed Sam’s leg and unstrapped it. Then he moved it back to the over side of the crib and strapped it down. Sam was too tired, too thirsty, and too weak to hide his fear.

He heard the woman coo, “Samuel, you don’t have to be afraid. Mommy knows you’re using adult words behind your pacifier and you need to stop. Mommy and Daddy don’t want to punish you again.”

But Sam couldn’t stop the desperate phrase from falling from his lips. He knew somewhere in his mind that he should shut up, but his desperation was overpowering. He felt the man walk up to the crib and start pushing down on his full bladder. Sam whimpered as the pain and pressure became to much as he urinated on himself. He felt humiliated but more than that, Sam felt like something less than human.

He watched them through his hazy eyes as they took the diaper off. He watched them slide another one under him before the woman took out a wipe. She started molesting him again. She touched his penis and balls. When she moved down and ran the wipe over his ass; it burned. Sam couldn’t hold back the weak scream or the tears that slipped from his eyes. The drugs and exhaustion messed with Sam’s concept of time. It seemed like an eternity before Cindy secured another diaper on him. In a way, it was relief to be covered again even if it was with a diaper.

Sam was glazing over when they took the pacifier gag out of his mouth. He felt the man force open his jaw again and he could feel the man’s fingers digging into his flesh. He saw the bottle coming towards his face and this time Sam closed his eyes. He felt the bottle on his lips and the felt the breast milk slowly trickling in his mouth, just like before. He closed down his throat so he wouldn’t swallow and he waited. Just like last time, Sam started to choke. He couldn’t turn his head and the drugs made it difficult for him to struggle enough to cause a distraction.

The breast milk sputtered out of his mouth and down his face but this time Sam couldn’t prevent some of it from slipping down his throat as he choked. Everything in Sam’s world slowed to a pause in that moment. If these people were monsters, they could have just turned him into one of them. He wondered if he should resist them anymore or give in. Drinking would give him a few more days to survive; a few more days for his dad and Dean to rescue him.

But it would also mean that he could be a monster longer and Sam didn’t want to be unclean. He would rather his dad or Dean just kill him. So Sam kept trying not to swallow which he was marginally successful with. He didn’t want to give in and if he could die before the rescue then that would save him from a shot in the heart or a beheading.

Once the bottle was finally pulled away and his head was released, Sam spit up everything he could. He could smell the milk and he could feel it in his hair. He looked up and through blurry eyes he could see the anger on their faces. He watched the man come around and grab him by the shoulders. The man started to shake Sam as hard as he could. The drugs made Sam unable to support his neck and he felt his head whipping back and forth. It was violent and Sam had no control. Sam knew they were speaking to him as they were shaking him but he couldn’t make out the words.

With each shake Sam’s vision would go black then it would come back into focus briefly before it repeated. Sam didn’t know how long or how many times this happened but eventually Sam felt the world go dark and he slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

++

John stared at the motel room ceiling all night. He was pretty sure Dean did the same thing. They had an FBI agent in the room with them while they were supposed to be doing their usual thing. John didn’t want to tell them their usual thing was hunting down monsters of the supernatural variety. He was grateful Dean at least had enough sense to hide all the weapons and case information in the truck of the Impala.

The FBI agent wasn’t there to harass them. She was there to trace any phone call that came in. Agent Adams said they could receive a ransom call or any other type of demand call. He explained that if it was a ransom call that John should ask for proof of life. The very idea of asking for proof of life sent chills through John’s body. What if there was no proof of life because Sam’s life had already been taken?

It was around 10 AM when Pastor Jim showed up. John asked the FBI agent to leave so they could have some privacy with their pastor. It seemed to work, much to John’s relief. Pastor Jim sat his briefcase down on the table after the agent left. He glanced from John then to Dean and then he pulled out a thick folder. His voice was uneasy when he spoke, “Before I left Minnesota, I had one of the genius kids at the half-way house hack into the FBI’s database to see what she could find out on Cindy and Matthew McClellan.”

John picked up the folder and opened it gingerly. He saw driver’s license photos of the very human monsters that took his son. It talked about how they were foster parents once, but the children under their care were removed for abuse. Something about having the foster kids taken away at the same time as having their own newborn taken away started this whole thing.

John didn’t really care what caused them to lose their minds. It wasn’t right to hurt other humans and it wasn’t right to hurt children. John flipped through the folder and he found information on the murders. He looked at the photo of one of the victims. It was from when he was alive and probably a school picture. The boy had the same shaggy brown hair as Sam and was tall like Sam, but this boy had bright brown eyes.

Like Sam, this boy’s family moved around a lot and he was left alone in seedy motels for weeks. Unlike Sam, no one noticed when he went missing. It wasn’t until his mother came home that anyone noticed and even then he as just listed as a runaway until the boy’s body was found. John felt a twinge of pain for the boy, no one looked for him.

The boy’s name was Scott Carey. John looked at the crime scene photo of where the body was dumped with a shaky hand. The boy was wrapped in a blue baby blanket and only his face could be seen. The boy’s face was thin and John could see the bones with hallowed out cheeks. He did not look like the same boy in the school photo.

Against John’s better judgment, he read the autopsy. John couldn’t control his tears by the end, because this was a fate Sam was facing right now and there was nothing he could do to stop it. John knew if he had just been there. If he had just settled down somewhere, none of this would have happened. He could have been there and he could have protected Sammy.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean stared at his father as John looked over the file. He wanted to read it. He wanted to know what those monsters were doing to his brother. But when his father handed the folder back to Pastor Jim and Pastor Jim silently slipped it back into his briefcase, Dean knew his father wasn’t going to tell him. Dean felt helpless watching his father and knowing that somewhere out there Sam was begging for their help.

Tentatively Dean asked Pastor Jim, “How bad is it?”

Pastor Jim sat down on the edge of the bed. He gave a heavy sigh. He spoke in a reassuring yet resolute voice, “The best people to work on this case are already here. This is what the Feds do. They track down the human monsters. This couple that took Sam. They have many different aliases and they could be hiding out with Sam anywhere.”

Dean huffed out a breath and said agitatedly, “But people will see them right? Neighbors? Someone?”

Pastor Jim nodded and said, “That is one of the things the FBI is counting on. They are hoping for a break. I am sure they have a grid setup of where they believe Sam is most likely being held. They will probably start knocking on those doors first, asking questions.”

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and growled, “Do you think they are going to find Sammy alive?”

Pastor Jim glanced up at Dean then back down. Calmly he said, “Dean, I cannot predict the future. But you need to be prepared for any outcome. Sam could die and while that is tragic, Sam will be at peace in Heaven with God.”

Dean snorted and said, “Where was God when they kidnapped him? Where was God when my mother was burned alive on the ceiling of Sammy’s nursery?” Dean felt a little bit of rage inside of him snap, “There is no God.”

John snapped back at Dean, “Enough Dean.”

Dean lowered his head to stare at his feet which suddenly became much more interesting than talking to Pastor Jim about Sammy being dead. Dean couldn’t really imagine life without Sam. Sure Sam was a pain in the ass, but he would sell his soul for Sammy. He hoped it wouldn't come to that. He kind of liked having ownership of his own soul, but for Sam, Hell could have his soul.

++

Sam woke up with blurry eyes. He was well aware that he was still drugged, but he was no longer in the crib or bed with bars. Sam wasn’t sure how he wanted to define his sleeping arrangments. He wasn’t sure where he was at first. He felt someone holding him and he realized it was the crazy bitch. Sam felt tingling in his limbs but soon he became coherent enough to realize he was laying on the sofa probably in the living room.

The woman was reading a children’s story to Sam. He really wasn’t paying attention to her words. He was more interested in his surroundings and attempting to survey his injuries. His neck hurt and he couldn’t escape the ringing in his ears. Sam knew with the tingling in his limbs, the ringing in his ears, and the severe neck pain. He was hurt, possibly badly hurt.

Sam let out a whimper behind the gag. He was not completely in the present. His mind was shifting to what was happening to thoughts of his dad and brother. The woman mercifully took the gag out of Sam’s mouth. He tried to flex his jaw with the new found freedom but it sent shooting pains down his neck and he realized he couldn’t easily swallow. He knew this was bad. Sam realized that his period for rescue was slowly dwindling away. Sam couldn’t bring himself to talk or try to move.

He looked up at the woman and she cooed at Sam, “My sweet boy, are you opening your eyes for Mommy?” She paused and snuggled Sam against her chest which sent a new round of sharp pains through his neck. Then she added, “My little Samuel has such beautiful eyes.” She stopped snuggling Sam and moved him arm’s length away. Sam watched as she studied him for a moment. Then she sharply said, “My baby doesn’t have vacant eyes. You’re not my baby.”

Sam wasn’t sure whether to be grateful reality was sinking in with this woman or terrified. He was at their mercy right now. They could set him free, kill him, or continue torturing him. Sam was leaning towards they were going to continue torturing him.

It was confirmed when the man leaned over them. He gently brushed Sam’s hair and Sam couldn’t stop the flinch, even though it hurt to move his neck. The man kissed the woman on the side of the face and said lovingly, “Sometimes a baby’s just tired and Samuel hasn’t been eating well. Maybe it’s time we put him on some solid food?”

Sam saw this as an opportunity. He put all of his will into speaking. He managed to croak out, “water.. please.” He closed his eyes after he spoke. He didn’t want to see the anger or hate on their faces. Worse yet Sam thought would be seeing their mock smiles of love and affection.

Much to his relief, the couple showed some mercy on him. Sam felt a bottle shoved into his mouth and he started to feel the slow trickle of water. He coaxed it down his throat as gingerly as he could. Sam found that he could swallow lightly, if he focused. It hurt to swallow but Sam knew if he wanted any chance of surviving this he would have drink. Sam relished in the feel of finally getting water. He didn’t even care that it was from a baby bottle, survival was more important than pride.

Once the bottle was empty, it was pulled away from Sam’s lips. He remained silent, even though he felt like he should thank them for the water. He knew that speaking had gotten them angry before and he didn’t want to push his luck. Sam tentatively opened his eyes. Matthew and Cindy were looking at him with concern. Sam couldn’t understand that. How could they be concerned when they had done nothing but torture, humiliate and molest him since he was kidnapped?

Sam felt Matthew stroke his hair again. Sam tried to hide the flinch, in the hopes they would show him more mercy. Matthew’s voice was gentle, “I think we should give him some rice cereal, Cindy. Maybe it will take him longer to disappear if he give him solid food.”

Sam felt Cindy pull him closer to her body. He felt her rub a hand up and down his chest to abdomen. Sam wanted to turn his head away but it hurt too much to even try. Instead, he just looked at Cindy with blurry eyes and waited for her reply. She huffed out a breath, “He won’t drink my milk. I don’t understand.”

Through blurry eyes, Sam watched the man pet the crazy bitch on the back of the head. Matthew started to massage the back of her neck and then he spoke softly, “Samuel is traumatized. I think it may take a little more time to ease him onto your breast milk.”

The woman snapped back at Matthew, “The only reason he is traumatized is because you shook him until he passed out. His neck is swollen.”

Vaguely Sam thought, that a swollen neck was not good. He thought he probably needed ice or a hospital, probably a hospital with a nice cop at the door to keep the crazy couple out. Sam closed his eyes and thought of his imaginary escape to the hospital. He also felt like pointing out that he wasn’t traumatized until they kidnapped him.

Sam felt himself being lifted again. He wondered if they were going to tie him down to the bed or strip him naked so they can touch him again. Sam kept his eyes closed as they moved him. He knew he couldn’t move or even lift his head, so there wasn’t much point in tracking his movements. Sam felt himself get lowered into a chair. A strong hand held his head against the back of the chair. Sam felt the thin fingers on his head and he knew it was the woman.

Sam opened his eyes and watched the man secure straps around his chest and head to keep him upright. Then straps were applied around his ankles and wrists to make him immobile. Sam wondered what sort of torture devise this was. He felt a bib being tied around his neck and then Sam understood what was going on. They were going to feed him, like a baby.

The woman approached Sam first. She had a small 8 ounce bottle of what Sam could only assume was breast milk in her hand. She was shaking it back and forth. She spoke sternly to Sam. “If you drink this, Daddy will feed you some rice cereal.” Sam watched the woman move the bottle towards his lips and put it in his mouth. He felt the breast milk start to drip into his mouth.

Now, Sam was faced with a choice. He could either drink the breast milk and get fed. It would at least give him some strength to hopefully escape or he could continue to resist. Sam knew that if they were monsters, he was already contaminated at this point. The couple had had plenty of opportunities to turn him if they weren’t human.

Sam knew what his father would say. John would tell Sam to survive and sometimes surviving means doing things he doesn’t want to do.  He closed his eyes and started to swallow the breast milk. He had to fight the urge to throw it up. It wasn’t so much that breast milk tasted badly to Sam. His problem was the source. As Sam drank he tried to rationalize this, surely this wasn’t any different than drinking cow’s milk. It was must another means of getting nutrition. One thought kept crowding all of Sam’s other thoughts as this was happening. For the first time, in a long time, Sam wanted his mother.


	8. Chapter 8

The days became a blur for Sam and something of a routine. Despite the promised food for drinking the breast milk, it never happened. They would promise every time to feed him and every time they wouldn’t. Sam wasn’t entirely sure why he went along with it. Part of him thought it was just the hope that maybe they would be truthful, just this one time. The other part of him just didn’t want to piss them off to get hit or shook again.

Sam’s legs and arms still tingled. His fingers throbbed inside the rubber mittens and Sam couldn’t understand why. He was still drugged, so he could barely move. He was starting to wonder if he could move if they stopped with the drugs. His neck sent sharp shooting pains through his body and he still could only lightly swallow. Sam knew that he certainly couldn’t suck on anything. He was grateful they hadn’t pushed the issue of the pacifier just laying limp in his mouth.

The days started out the same for Sam. They would come into his room and push on his bladder until he urinated on himself. Then they would change his diaper and give him a bottle. Sometimes the bottle was water and sometimes it was breast milk. Sam was just grateful not to be thirsty at this point. The only problem with drinking anything Sam found was it would cause the hunger pains to come back.

After they changed him and fed him, the man would unstrap Sam from the crib and carry him into the living room. There he would spend the mornings either curled up with the woman while she read to him or they would watch a movie together. Sometimes, they would leave him alone on the floor stretched out on a blanket to watch a movie. Sam liked the times when they left him alone the most because then he could almost imagine that Dean was here with him watching a cheesy kid’s movie.

In the afternoons, they would strap him to a chair and give him another bottle. Sam would let it trickle into and down his throat. Somewhere in his mind he knew he should be fighting, but he didn’t have any fight left in him. Sam didn’t know for sure how many days it had been, but he did know no one had found him. His father, his brother, and the Feds had not found him. Sometimes Sam wondered as he looked into his captor’s eyes, if those were going to be the eyes he looked into when he takes his last breath.

After Sam got his afternoon bottle, they left him strapped to the chair, so he could watch the woman cook and prepare food. Sam never knew cooking could be an all afternoon event, but with these people it was every day. Smelling and seeing the food made the torture worse for Sam. Sometimes he would just closed his eyes and try to be someplace else. He would try not to think about how he was slowly starving.

However whenever he closed his eyes, the man would come over and start tickling his sides. Sam was ticklish but the jarring from it caused the pain in his neck to increase and instead of laughing he would be moaning in pain. The man wouldn’t stop until Sam was sobbing, which Sam noticed as the days went on it took less and less time for him to be a sobbing mess. He just didn’t care about being a tough man and hiding how he felt like Dean always did. If showing emotion caused the pain to stop, that is what he would do.

Sam had to sit in the chair and watch the couple eat food every day. After he watched him eat, Sam was taken to the bathroom. He was forced to piss himself again before he was stripped. Then the couple would bathe him, dress him, and put him to bed. Even though they had never tried to jack him off or shove anything up his ass, Sam was fairly certain they were getting off on this.

Tonight though was different for Sam, he was laying naked in the bathtub with his eyes closed. He never liked to look at them while they touched him. In his mind the molestation was bad enough, he didn’t want to watch. This night though, the woman took one of the mittens off one of his hands. This caused Sam to open his eyes and look. Sam saw that his hand was covered in blood and his fingernails looked pushed up. He realized he must have done that to himself when he was struggling at some point.

He watched and hissed in pain was the woman gently washed around his fingers as she wore the wash cloth with the stupid frog on it. Once it was blood free aside from a small trickle, Sam had a better look at the damage. He knew Dean would give him a couple pain pills and while he trimmed down the nails, Dean would whisper reassurances and apologies if he did anything that hurt. Dean would take care of him.

But Dean wasn’t here. Sam had no idea what this couple was going to do or what they were capable of. He watched the woman leave the bathroom quietly. She returned a short time later with a pair of plyers. Sam felt a knot in his empty stomach as he got it, as he understood what was about to happen. Sam turned his head as much as he could with his sore neck and tightly closed his eyes. He felt the woman pick up his hand that the drugs wouldn’t let him move away from her.

Then Sam felt the cold steel of the plyers on his fingertip as it started to pull on his broken nail. Sam couldn’t stop the scream that left his throat. He couldn’t stop, how even drugged every muscle in his body went tight. The woman made short work of pulling out the nails, she didn’t even stop until all five were gone on Sam’s hand. He knew it took less than a minute but it felt like hours. He stopped screaming when the last nail was pulled out but he couldn’t stop his tears.

He watched as she gently bandaged up his fingertips. Then she moved on to his other hand. The same process was repeated on his other hand. By the time, she was done Sam was trembling. Then Sam saw her take out a pair of nail clippers and trim his toenails. He was breathing heavy as she trimmed them but she didn’t rip them off like she did his fingernails. Sam was grateful for that small act of kindness.

Sam was then lifted out of the water and dried off. They dressed him a t-shirt and diaper as they always did. Then Sam felt the pacifier gag being put back over his face. It never occurred to Sam to speak while she was hurting him. He wasn’t sure what that said about his mental state, but he knew his mental stability was going downhill.

Then Sam felt himself carried into the room and put into bed. For the first time, Sam didn’t have covers over his hands and he wasn’t strapped down. He felt them pull a blanket over him and the woman leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead. She whispered to Sam, “My beautiful son, get some rest. Mommy and Daddy love you.” She started to hum a child’s song that Sam didn’t recognize. Sam closed his eyes to make it look like he was going to sleep as he thought about his father and Dean.

++  
It had been five days since Sam was kidnapped. John had a mental count of how long Sammy was gone down to the minute. He wasn’t sure why he was so precise. It just seemed like every minute that ticked by another part of him died. Mary died trying to protect Sam from a demon and he couldn’t even manage to protect Sam from the human monsters in the world.

John knew Rufus and Bobby were in town along with a handful of other hunters he didn’t know. He was heading over to their motel to break in to see what they knew while they weren’t there. Pastor Jim was staying him and Dean. John was certain that Pastor Jim declared himself to be on babysitting duty. He knew the pastor had his reasons for wanting them to stay out of it. But as the days ticked by, so did any hope of finding Sammy alive. John tried not to think about what he saw in those autopsy reports. He didn’t want that to be happening to Sam.

He arrived at the motel shortly after noon and he easily picked the lock to Bobby’s room. Inside the room, it was spotless aside from the empty beer and whiskey bottles. John wished that Bobby could lay off the liquor for once, but Bobby was a drunk that could focus even when drunk. Sometimes though, John wondered how much better of a hunter Bobby would be sober.

He looked around the room and opened the closet door. Inside, he found the case information. John stared at it and honestly he was impressed with detail. Bobby had noted the police search area, as well as, what they defined as their own search area. John was a little surprised to see that the maps didn’t completely overlap.

Instead only a five mile patch of wilderness overlapped. That five mile patch was covered with secluded cabins and hunting trials deep in the mountains. Bobby had identified it on the map as the area where Sam was most likely being held. John ran his fingers over the area as if doing so could get him closer to his son.

John looked over the police search schedule Bobby had posted. He noted that the five mile area as due to have the search parties starting tomorrow. John decided to make a point to drop a hint to Dean that they should go join the search party. He knew the reason why the Feds asked him and Dean not to join the search parties in the woods. They said it was about the possibility of not having cell service in the event of a ransom call, but John really suspected they just didn’t want him or Dean to stumble across Sam’s body.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam woke up when it was still dark out. The hunger pains was making it harder for him to sleep through the night. Sam lifted his hand tentatively and looked at. He thought it was odd that his fingers felt better than they had before. It was like pulling out his nails actually helped him somehow. Sam gave a silent sigh and thought, he must be going nuts. That was the only reasonable explanation he could come up with.

As Sam surveyed his hand in front of his face. He realized something. He wasn’t drugged or strapped down. He could leave. He could escape. Sam froze where he was on the bed with the prospect. He listened for any sounds from the couple, but he heard nothing. As quietly as he could, Sam sat up on the bed. It sent pain through his neck and down his back. Sam ignored it for right now. Gingerly, Sam pulled himself over the bars of the crib and onto the floor.

He had to grab onto the side of the crib to steady himself as he stood. His legs were weak and he knew his body was weak from lack of food. Sam crept carefully out of the room. He remembered his training. He peeked down the hall and he saw the couple fast asleep in their bed. Sam had the momentary thought to go kill them, but he thought better of it. He wasn’t a monster and he didn’t kill humans. His dad taught him not to kill humans.

Sam reached the front door, he carefully unlocked it and he stepped out. He closed the door as gingerly as possible and then the cold air hit him. He looked down and realized that he probably should have put some clothes on first. Walking around in a diaper and thin t-shirt at night in Arizona probably wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had.

Sam took a few tentative steps away from the house and he breathed a sigh of relief until he looked around and realized he was in the middle of the woods. Sam looked up at the stars and was relieved to see it was a clear night. He started following the stars to stay due north. He didn’t want to follow the road because he didn’t want to be that easily found.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been walking when started to hear their voices. They were shouting for him. They wanted him to come home. Sam wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to stay warm but it was cold. He tried to run as he heard their voices getting closer, but he didn’t have the strength.

++

Dean had taken his father up on the idea to go join the search party. While, he didn’t get to scour the woods. He was paired with Bobby to go door to door and knock on cabin doors. It was raining and cold outside. They had to show a picture of Sammy and ask to please call if they had any information. It was stupid in Dean’s opinion.

The cabins at the frilly resort they had to canvas, much to the manager’s dismay, were about 10 acres apart. It offered some nice privacy which Dean could appreciate had it not been for the fact that his brother was missing and the focus of the search had been on the secluded woods. It made Dean feel sick. The morning consisted of waking up couples, most of whom looked like they had been having way too much sex, had not produced any solid leads. No one had seen the couple and more importantly, no one had seen Sammy.

Dean knocked on the door of a cabin, he wasn’t sure how many doors they had already knocked on but it was closer to late morning. A man answered the door and Dean’s blood ran cold. This man was at the very top of Dean’s kill list. He was also apparently on the top of Bobby’s kill list too because both of them had a gun pointed at him in a matter of seconds.

Dean stepped into the doorway and shoved the man hard against the wall inside the cabin. He had the gun pointed at the man’s head. He said sharply, “Where is Sammy?”

The man put his arms up as if the placate Dean somehow, but Dean just pushed back harder. Finally the man spoke nervously, “I don’t know who you’re talking about. It is just me, my wife, Cindy, and our newborn, Samuel.”

Dean locked eyes on the man and he saw something in the man. Something that told Dean he didn’t have his stuff completely together. Dean pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man’s arms behind his back. He shoved the man to the floor hard and he roughly said, “If you as much as move, I will kill you.”

Dean and Bobby carefully walked past the man and started looking around the house. The living room, kitchen and bathroom were all empty. The first bedroom was also empty. Dean came to a closed door. He slowly opened it and he saw a woman sitting on the side of what looked like an adult size baby crib. Dean was a little taken aback by that. He was expecting a lot of things behind this door and that was not it.

It looked like one of the bars on the crib had been broken. As Dean surveyed the crib, he started to feel knots in his stomach. There were restraints and where Dean was sure Sammy’s hands would have been if he was strapped down there were blood stains. It wasn’t a lot of blood, but enough for Dean to know Sam may have bled here. That they have hurt Sammy here. Dean tried to keep himself from seeing red and focus on the task at hand, finding Sammy alive.

The woman was cuddling something under a blanket. It looked fairly large like it could be Sam. However, if was Sam that meant Sam was either very hurt or drugged. Dean didn’t like the sound of either. He heard Bobby’s gruff voice, “Lady, step away from the bed and put your hands up. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will shoot you if I have too.”

Dean glanced from Bobby to the woman as he leveled his gun. The woman was whispering something into whatever she was holding. It took Dean a moment to be able to make out her words, “My sweet boy. My sweet, Samuel. Mommy loves you so much. Just be quiet now and the strange men will leave.”

Dean felt an icy chill go up his spine. She was holding Sammy. His Sammy. She had no right to hold Sammy. She had no right to even look at him. Before Dean could really think about what he was doing. He put his gun away and he pulled the woman away from what she was holding. He shoved her against the wall. Then he looked back to see she was holding a pile of empty blankets. Sam wasn’t there.

He pulled his gun out again and cocked the trigger. He was angry and he couldn’t contain it. “Where is Sam?”

She whispered, “He disappeared but don’t worry. He does this. He will be back in a couple weeks. Samuel always is.”

Dean never believed in being violent with women unless they were a monster. He let his mind toy for a moment while he tried to decide if this woman qualified as a monster or not. He decided that she did. He walked over and grabbed her by the hair. He pulled her down to the floor and put the gun to her temple. He was fuming when he spoke. “Listen to me you bitch. Samuel or whatever the Hell you’ve been calling him is my brother. He is my responsibility. He has always been my responsibility and so help me if you and your crazy ass husband killed him. I will paint the walls in this cabin with your blood because I will kill you. I will kill you ten times slower than how you killed Sam. You will be praying to God for death before I am done. Now tell me, where the fuck my brother is or do I need to start with painting the walls with your blood.”

Dean heard Bobby clear his throat which Dean took it to mean, that Bobby thought he is crossing over a sanity line and if he was honest with himself. He probably did just sort of loose it with the woman. But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He woman’s voice shook when she replied. “Samuel disappeared in the night. We went looking for him but we couldn’t find him. He’ll be back. He always is.”

Bobby stepped in and pulled Dean back before he killed the woman. Dean figured that was probably wise. He didn’t need a life prison sentence even though he was sure it would have been a justifiable homicide. Bobby cuffed her and dragged her out into the living room with the husband. Dean heard Bobby start talking on his cell phone to the police and Dean knew they would be here soon.

He started to walk around the house to take a better look at things. He saw adult size diapers in the bedroom where Dean assumed Sam had been held. In the kitchen, he found a full fridge with a lot of milk in the freezer. Dean thought that was odd and upon closer inspection, he realized it was breast milk. Dean shook his head at that. He hoped they didn’t make Sam drink that crap. He smiled slightly at a memory when he saw a bottle in the sink. He remembered how Sam would throw them at his head as soon as he was big enough to grip the bottle. Baby Sammy thought that was funny.

Dean wandered his way into the bathroom. He noted the used diaper in the trashcan and felt bad for Sam. He didn’t know if Sam was actually the one to use it but he had a pretty good guess it was. Dean saw blood on the diaper which he thought was weird. He bent down to pick up the trashcan to take a better look. He lifted it up and peered in. That was when he saw it. He saw what he could only assume to be Sammy’s broken, bloody, and clearly pulled out fingernails.

Dean dropped the trashcan on the floor with a clunk and started throwing up in the toilet. He didn’t protect Sammy. He had let Sammy get tortured and now Sammy was probably dead. It was his fault.


	10. Chapter 10

John arrived at the house where Sam was held about 30 minutes after he got the call from Bobby with Pastor Jim. He could see the police and Federal agents swarming the area. The rain was starting to let up but the rain had washed away any obvious signs of where Sam had gone.

As they stepped out of the car, John watched one of the police dogs sniff on a piece of Sam’s clothing to aide in the search. John could hear people shouting Sam’s name, but there was no sign of Sam. Pastor Jim grabbed John by the arm to stop him from going any further. He was hesitant when he spoke, “John, if Sam really did escape last night. It got cold and if he wasn’t dressed for the weather. He could.."

John sharply cut Jim off, “Sam is not dead. He.. He is not dead.”

Reluctantly Pastor Jim said, “I am not saying for sure that he is. I am only saying the odds are not in Sam’s favor.”

John glared at him for a moment. He fumed when he said, “The odds have never been Sam’s favor and he always came out of it alive.”

John looked around the area. He knew it was a clear a night before it started raining in the morning so he knew Sam would probably have been walking in set direction off the main road. He turned around to scan the area a few times. The road ran east to west. To the south was more mountain ranges and to the north the land sloped downward. He could see the search parties heading off east and west. They were spreading out near the road.

John had a feeling in his gut that Sam wouldn’t be there. He looked south to north a couple times then he said with certainty, “Sammy would have gone north. I am certain of it.”

He surveyed the area for a moment longer and he saw Dean rushing towards him. He eyed Dean for a moment as Dean stopped in front of him. He could see Dean’s hands flexing. It was a nervous habit of Dean’s that John wasn’t even sure he noticed he was doing.

Dean’s words were rushed and clearly stressed when he spoke, “That couple is crazy. They said Sammy disappeared during the night and they tried to look for him. They said that he would come back because he always comes back. Do you think Sammy tried to escape before?”

John glanced off in a northerly direction. He firmly said, “No, I do not. It think it is part of their delusion.”

Dean nodded and John could see Dean relax with that knowledge. His son was tentative when he spoke, “I told the cops that I think Sammy probably went north. They didn’t believe me and told me that he would most likely be near the road.”

John nodded and was uneasy when he spoke, “I think we could head off northbound and see what we find. You and Bobby could be paired together and I will be with Pastor Jim.”

Dean gulped and looked off in the direction of their search. He said smoothly with only a hint of hesitation. “Yeah.. okay, we should get started.”

++

Sam could hear yelling, he thought. It was pretty far off in the distance. He was currently curled up against a tree where he took refuge after falling when the rain started. It had become too painful for him to move. Sam could see blood on his feet and legs. He was pretty sure he hurt himself when he tried to escape. Sam was pleased that his legs were at least a little close to his body. He couldn’t get them to completely rest against his chest.

Sam found he just couldn’t move that much. It was getting difficult to breathe. He was soaking wet and the cold did help the pain for a time. Then the cold made everything so much worse, but now he was having trouble feeling his limbs. It reminded him of before when they drugged him. He wondered if maybe he got drugged again or if this is what it feels like for his body to slowly die out in the elements.

Sam knew how to survive in the woods. He knew he should have built a shelter or covered himself in leaves for warmth. He didn’t do either of those. He knew his father would be disappointed. Sam hoped he wouldn’t have to face his father’s wrath. He didn’t think he could handle extra physical training drills right now.

He could hear the shouting of his name getting closer. Sam closed his eyes as he heard his name. At least they weren’t calling him Samuel anymore. Now they were calling him Sam and Sammy. He let a couple tears fall down his face with that. Only his dad and Dean could call him Sammy. He absently thought his mother could call him Sammy, if he had one.

Sam started to focus on the voices more and the more he heard them the more frightened he got. The voices sounded like Dean, Bobby, Pastor Jim, and his dad. Sam knew that couldn’t be right. It couldn’t be right because they didn’t find him. His dad had promised to find him but his dad never came.

The voices were getting so close to Sam now he could hear leaves crunching and twigs breaking. He held in a sob. Sam knew the couple was going to torture him some more. He didn’t know what they were going to do, but Sam knew it was going to be bad. He tightly closed his eyes as the footsteps approached the tree he was hiding behind.

Then Sam felt a firm hand on his shoulder. The hand felt familiar and safe. It was warm and Sam didn’t think he was going to get hit or drugged but Sam knew not to hope too much. Sam heard a voice. It was gruff and worn with age but it sounded like home. “Sammy? Sam?” He didn’t really know what to say to that. The couple always got angry when he tried to speak so he didn’t say anything.

Sam wasn’t really sure he could say something if he wanted too. His neck hurt too much. He felt something warm wrapped around his body. It smelled like old leather and gun oil. It smelled like home. He heard the voice again, “It’s going to be okay, Sammy. Don’t try to move, okay?” He couldn’t really understand why the voice sounded upset. The couple was always more angry than upset.

He heard the voice shout to someone, “Dean, go run back and get the paramedics. I found Sammy, but we can’t move him.” Sam felt warm hands on the sides of his face. They were holding up his head, Sam thought. He figured the voice was pretty adamant about not wanting him to move his head or his body.

Sam thought he heard weeping which he couldn’t understand. Then Sam’s mind caught up with what the voice said. The voice said Dean’s name. He felt a pinch of fear inside his empty stomach. What if the couple found Dean? What if they took Dean? Sam knew Dean was a better hunter than him and more valuable to his father. Sam knew that he was unclean and a burden but Dean wasn’t either of those things. Dean didn’t deserve this fate. If nothing else, Sam was glad he was able to free his family from the burden of having to deal with him.

Sam heard more rustling around him and he heard more voices. It sounded like a lot of commotion and he couldn’t understand why. He figured it must be some sort of twisted game the couple was playing. He felt the warm hands on his face move away and they were replaced with latex gloved hands. He heard an unfamiliar voice. This voice was calm, “Hey kid, you’re going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of here.” Sam didn’t open his eyes. He just remained still. He heard the man speak again, “We are going to put a neck brace on you. It is probably going to be a little cool, just try to stay calm.”

Sam felt something cold wrap around his neck. He let out a whimper because he didn’t want to be restrained like that. He was silently making promises that he wouldn’t try to run away again to the couple. He felt more hands on him and he felt himself getting slowly moved to a cold surface. He heard the voice again, “It’s okay kid. We are just getting you ready to move.” Sam felt them stretch out his limbs on the cool surface and it hurt.

He opened his eyes with the pain and he saw unfamiliar faces surrounding him. Sam felt a blanket get wrapped around him and then he was strapped down. He couldn’t see the straps as they went across his body, but he felt them. Sam knew better than to struggle. He knew struggling would get him hurt. Sam watched as they lifted him. He could see the trees and the leaves falling. He thought it was sort of pretty.

It seemed like they carried him a long ways. The unfamiliar voice kept calling him kid and telling him to stay calm. Sam wondered if they were taking him back to the couple. When the woods ended he saw the tops of police cars and he could hear dogs barking. Sam saw the opening of an ambulance and he looked at the ceiling as he was loaded in.

The unfamiliar man put another blanket on top of him after the doors closed. Sam watched him wearily. The unfamiliar man said, “We are going to get you warmed up and get you to the hospital.” Sam didn’t say anything. He felt the man take out one of his arms and took his blood pressure. Then he felt the man poke his arm. Sam could see the end of an IV bag and he wondered if this was a rescue.

He felt the man tuck his arm back in under the blanket. Then Sam saw someone else come into view. It was a familiar face. He tried to smile but he couldn’t. He could only stare and cry. Sam realized his dad didn’t lie to him. His dad found him just like he said he would. Sam felt his father’s hand on his shoulder and he let himself drift to sleep with the knowledge his father would protect him.


	11. Chapter 11

The world is like a sea of bright lights and masked faces for Sam. To say Sam didn’t understand what is going on would be an understatement.  He was fairly certain they were giving him drugs and he was slowly starting to feel himself get warm. He felt like he was wrapped up in an air bubble that was slowly getting warmer.

Sam heard a voice come into the room. This voice was a perky female, “Hey there kiddo, we are going to get you some x-rays and then I am going to wheel you down to get a CT and MRI done. How does that sound?” Sam didn’t say anything. He just focused on breathing. It was still difficult but he could feel air blowing on his face from the mask they put on him.

Sam watched as the woman turned off the lights and positioned a machine over him. She was cheerful, “Not much for talking, huh?” He heard a couple clicks and tried to watch her reposition the machine. The she said, “That’s alright. I’m sure you just want to get this done so you can get back to your mommy and daddy.”

Her words struck fear through Sam’s heart. He felt his breathing increase and it suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. He heard machines dinging loudly in the background and he wanted them to stop. Sam wanted to runaway back to his dad who was just there, but maybe his dad wasn’t really there. Maybe he just imagined it.

Sam saw masked faces again and then he saw a tube being held up. One of the masked faces was pushing something into the tube. This masked face was a man, Sam realized. His voice was calm, “It’s okay Sam. This is just going to calm you right down.” Sam tried to focus on the man’s face as his world went blurry and then everything went dark.

++

John heard the commotion from Sam’s room. They had asked him to wait outside while they worked on Sam. He watched helplessly as they drugged Sam to make him go to sleep while they ran the rest of the tests. He turned to the x-ray tech and asked her, “Do you know what caused him to panic like that?”

The perky woman shrugged and said, “No, he wasn’t talking so I told him that he was probably just waiting to get back to his mommy and daddy.”

John glared at her for a moment and he sharply said, “His mother is dead. He only has me and his older brother.”

John watched as the tech finished taking x-rays then he watched as Sam was carted away for more tests. He felt like a failure as he looked at his son. Sam survived but barely. He was grateful, Sam escaped when he did. Sam still had all of his teeth unlike the other victims. As far as John could tell, Sam had been starved and physically abused like the other victims. He didn’t know how Sam was doing mentally but if he had to guess it would be not well.

He wandered back out into the private waiting room the hospital set aside for them. The media coverage made it necessary. John sat back down next to Dean. He watched Dean clinch his fists again. He knew Dean was nervous. John pulled Dean in for a hug. He felt Dean tense then relax into it. He whispered into Dean’s ear, “Sammy’s going to be okay.”

Dean shook his head and said quietly, “This is all my fault. If I would have obeyed you in the first place or listened to Sam after I made a bad choice, none of this would have happened.”

John started lightly rubbing Dean’s back. He gave a sad chuckle, “This wasn’t the first time you disobeyed me, son, and I doubt it will be the last. That couple was staking Sam. They would have caught him eventually, regardless of what you did.”

Dean nodded and said, “That still doesn’t make me feel better. How are we supposed to protect Sammy from demons and monsters if we can’t even protect him from humans?”

John sighed and said, “We do the best we can, Dean. That is all we can do.”

Hours ticked by in the waiting room. The room was silent for the most part because there wasn’t much that could be said. The only noise was from the television set in the corner, but even that was turned on low.

Finally a doctor walked into the room. He held out his hand to John and said calmly, “Hello, I am Dr. Gaines. I would like to talk to you about Sam.”

John shook his hand firmly and nervously said, “Please, how is my son? When can I see him?”

Dr. Gaines smiled, “Sam is doing fine. He should be waking up in about half an hour. It will be best if you are there for that. I think it will help keep him calm.” The doctor paused, “Sam, as you may have noticed, had some injuries. I do expect him to recover just fine. The three things of the most concern to me was his spinal injury, the starvation, and the hypothermia. Sam has a ruptured disk in his neck. With his age, we would like to avoid surgery if at all possible. I gave him a cortisone shot in his neck to help with the inflammation and he will have to wear a neck brace for 6 to 8 weeks. I will have the nurse get you information for a follow up with a spinal specialist for Sam.

“The starvation that Sam experienced weakened him and his ability to heal. I inserted a feeding tube so we can get some nutrients in him. When he wakes up, I want to try to get him to eat some soft foods. I don’t want to release him from the hospital until he can eat solid foods again. I do have him on a round of antibiotics to hopefully keep him from getting an infection.

“The hypothermia is no longer much of an issue. We managed to raise his core body temperature to normal ranges. He may still feel chilled and shiver when he wakes up. I asked the nurse to bring him warm blankets every couple hours."

The doctor paused, “Now, there was evidence that Sam was tortured. The spinal injury is evidence of that. But also there are bruises on his face and neck from where I can only guess his mouth was forced open. Sam also had bruising on his legs, arms, and buttocks. However, I did not find any evidence of sexual assault.

“Sam’s fingernails appear to have been pulled out. I cannot say for certain if they will grow back. Sometimes, when an injury like that happens the nail itself will not grow back or it may grow back deformed. He did have some cuts on the bottom of his feet and lower legs. I think those are from his escape. Nothing was deep enough to need stitches so my staff just cleaned up the wounds.

“I cannot speak to what Sam’s mental state will be like when he wakes up or what sort of impact this will have on him. Sam hasn’t spoken a word since he came to the hospital and my understanding is he hasn’t spoken to you. There is no injury preventing Sam from speaking. His silence is due to mental trauma. I strongly recommend seeking professional help for Sam to process what happened to him. I can get you some recommendations for therapists if you would like.”

John’s mind was going a million miles a minute with the information. He wasn’t sure how to process everything. John knew he had hunting to consider but he also had his son to consider. He knew Sam wasn’t going to be any condition to hunt for some time and it was probably going to be a few days before Sam was even out of the hospital.

John’s voice was quiet when he spoke, “I would like to go see my son now.”

The doctor nodded and said, “Of course.” He stepped out of the room and held the door open for John to follow.

John took a step toward the door and paused. He turned back towards Dean and said tentatively, “You should come too, son. He loves you more than anything else in the world.”

++

Dean was standing in the corner of Sam’s hospital room. Seeing his brother hooked up to all the machines and being completely helpless was a lot to take in. This was all his fault. Sam had called him for help and he refused. Dean figured that made him a pretty poor excuse of a brother.

Dean could see Sam’s worn face. He looked so much younger laying there like years of his life had just been stolen from him. Sam had an oxygen mask over his face and a neck brace around his neck. Dean could see the feeding tube coming out the side of Sam’s face. Blankets were covering Sam’s body up to his shoulders, so Dean couldn’t see his brother’s hands. He could only see the line for the IV peeking out from under the covers.

Sam didn’t wake up when the doctor said. His heart rate still showed steady on the monitors. But Sammy wasn’t moving. Dean watched as John left to go get some coffee and he was left alone with his baby brother. Dean walked over to Sam’s bedside. He put his hand under the covers and found Sam’s hand. He held on it. Dean leaned down and kissed Sam’s forehead. He whispered to Sam, “I’m sorry Sammy.”

Sam didn’t respond so Dean started lightly brushing back Sam’s hair. He gave Sam a sad smile as tears rolled down his face. He wiped away the tears from his face. He gave Sam’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk to you, Sammy. I know I make a pretty crappy big brother but I promise you, I’ll do better. I promise, Sammy.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Sam awoke in a darkened room. It looked rather industrial to him and the first thing he noticed is he couldn’t move his neck. Sam slowly moved so he was sitting up in the bed and he realized he was in a hospital. Sam felt around his neck and face. He realized he had a neck brace on, breathing mask, and a tube coming out of his nose. He also noticed that he didn’t feel hungry but he was thirsty.

Sam was alone in the room. He pulled the mask off of his face and fiddled with the guardrail on the bed for a few moments until he got it to lower. Sam carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed. He centered himself for a moment and then he stood up. He was a little shaky on his legs, but he was standing and he figured that was progress.

Sam didn’t really know for sure where he was going or what he was doing. But he did know that he wasn’t going to stay here without his dad or Dean. Sam took the blood pressure cuff off of his arm and removed the monitors on his chest. Then Sam ripped the IV out of his arm. It was then Sam heard the dinging of machines.

He looked up at the machines and saw that it looked like he was dead. Sam pushed a few buttons to get the noise to stop. He was grateful when no one entered the room. Although, he knew he should probably be disturbed by that. Sam stumbled his way into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He thought he looked terrible. Sam wandered over to the toilet and sat down. He knew he should be focusing on escaping but right now, he just wanted to take a piss that wasn’t in a diaper.

After he finished his business, Sam carefully washed his hands. He took note of how tender his fingertips were. But they did look to be healing. Then Sam went back out into the hospital room in search of clothes. It took him a few minutes and he found his backpack stuffed with a pair of gym shoes and a change of clothes. Sam knew he didn’t pack these clothing items into his backpack so he wondered who did.

Sam slowly and carefully changed. He knew he should he working faster but it hurt too much to move quickly. Once he was dressed, Sam pulled a hoodie up over his head and he peaked out into the hallway. It was mostly empty with a couple of cops hanging around. Sam waited until their backs were turned then he stepped out into the hallway and escaped into the stairwell.

He slowly walked down the stairs. Each step hurt his back and Sam was questioning the wisdom of not taking an elevator. He made it a couple flights of stairs before his head started to hurt and his vision was going blurry. Sam sat down on one of the stairs and leaned against the guardrail. Against his will and better judgment, Sam felt himself drift to sleep.

++

Dean and John returned to Sam’s hospital room after meeting with detectives on Sam’s case. Dean didn’t want to leave Sam alone, but the staff insisted it would be fine and they would let them know the minute Sam woke up. Clearly, that was not the case. John and Dean were left staring at the empty hospital room with no sign of Sam.

Dean stepped out in the hallway and shouted at the nurses and police officers who were supposed to be watching Sam, “Where is Sam?” He got confused looks from the officers that did nothing but annoy Dean. He glanced at his dad who was staring dumbfounded at Sam’s hospital gown on the floor. Dean quickly said, “I am going to check the stairs.”

Dean quickly walked over to the stairwell. After the door was closed he pulled his gun out of the back of his jeans. He checked the clip before tucking it back away. Dean knew that if anyone was going to try to hurt his Sammy again. He was going to kill them.

He descended a couple flights of stairs before he saw Sam curled up and asleep on one of the stairs. Dean quickly stepped in front of his little brother and grabbed on firmly to Sam’s shoulders. He frantically said, “Sammy?”

Sam groggily opened his eyes and focused on Dean. He didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at his brother. Finally after a few moments Sam tried to speak. His voice was raspy and thin, “Dean?”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He took a couple deep breaths to calm himself then he said, “Sammy, what are you doing out of bed?”

Sam was struggling to keep his focus on Dean. He lifted up one of his hands and put it on Dean’s arm. He didn’t hold on tightly. He just wanted to feel that his brother was there. “They said they were coming back. I don’t want to be with them. They said I don’t have a brother and that Dad doesn’t love me.”

Dean wrapped his arm around Sam to help him stand. He tried to reassure Sam, “Sammy, you’re my little brother and Dad loves you.” He paused and the words were almost strained coming out of Dean, “And I love you.”

Sam leaned forward and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. His voice was getting weaker, “I love you too.”

Dean helped Sam back up the stairs to Sam’s hospital room. He helped Sam lay back down and he put the oxygen mask back over Sam’s face. Sam held on to Dean’s arm and tried to maintain eye contact with him. Dean pulled up a chair and sat down next to Sam. He watched as the nurses reconnected Sam’s IV and other equipment. He could hear their dad raging at the staff out in the hallway.

Once John was done yelling, he came in the hospital room. He walked over to Sam’s bedside and brushed his hair back. John was upset and having trouble hiding his tears, “How’s my little man?”

Sam sighed and reached out to touch his father’s face. He bit down on his lip when he realized this was real. He had his family back. Quietly Sam said, “I’m not little but I am doing better now.” Sam moved his hand away and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his dad and Dean were still there. It was a relief but then he remembered he didn’t get his homework or research done.

Sam coughed a couple times and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get the research done on Aergia.”

John winced. The last thing he expected his son to say after escaping was an apology for not finishing research. John started to cry and he said, “It’s okay, son. I have you back and that is the most important thing.”

Sam bit down on his lip and started crying. He knew he was having a breakdown, but given the last week of his life he thought it was justifiable. Sam sobbed quietly while Dean and his dad held him. He knew this would be in the never talk about category of their lives.


End file.
